How to Be A Heartbreaker
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: Now here was the problem. She was going to spend two months with Kol Mikaelson with only his crazy mother as a chaperone. She had no one to keep her sane and from killing Kol and he was going to make her life miserable while they were in Paris. Somebody kill her now, please? AU/AH.
1. you gotta have fun

_Rule number one _

_Is that you gotta have fun _

_But baby when you're done you gotta be the first to run_

**-Marina and the Diamonds, How to Be A Heartbreaker_  
_**

_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. _

Those were the words running through people's minds as Caroline Forbes walked into the hallways of Mystic Falls High School, anger brimming in her eyes and a scowl on her lips. She looked ready to kill and the _stomp, stomp, stomp_ of her high heels thudded in the hallway as she made her way to her locker. Opening the lock, she searched for her books and pulled them out hastily, wanting to chuck them at the nearest person. Oh, if only murder wasn't a crime.

Closing her locker with a BANG she swept past other students and made her way to History where Mr. Tanner was seizing up the students and searching for his latest victim. Caroline took her usual seat, slamming her books on the table and imagining it was _his _face instead. Her friends noticed her mood and warily approached her, taking their seats beside her.

"Are you okay, Care?" Bonnie asked quietly, eying her like she was a puma in the wild and was going to pounce on her if she wasn't careful. She wasn't too off the mark.

"Just peachy." Caroline bit out.

Her face turned red when she saw_ him_ enter the room. Satan, Hitler, Attila the Hun – none of those bastards compared to _this_ bastard – Kol fucking Mikaelson, the bane of her existence, the pebble in her shoe, the sand in her sandwich, the nail on her bedpost. He was everything despicable, repulsive, hate-able, terrible, horrifying in this world and she wanted to kill him, slowly and painfully. She wanted him to suffer the most gruesome, most painful death ever recorded in human history. She wanted him dead, period.

He noticed her glaring murderously at him as he approached. "Now, now, Forbes, we're in public, don't look at me with those lovey-dovey eyes."

She continued to glare at him, wanting to chuck her books at his head. It was no use, he'd just dodge them being the athlete that he was with his quick reflexes. She'd tried it before so she knew. She just fumed as he took his seat behind her.

She could_ feel_ his smugness like it was a cancer spreading into her system. He was like a virus, a flesh-eating virus that ate her insides and made everything go wrong. He was a tick sucking her blood, draining her of life. He was a terrible person, pure evil!

She stiffened, her spine going ramrod straight when he tapped her on the shoulder with his finger. "Hey Forbes, do you have a pen?"

She turned her head slowly to look at him, his toxic dark eyes mockingly glinting at her. Her hands fisted as she resisted the urge to reach over and smack him in the face. It would do well to mark that pretty face of his. Oh the fantasies were too sweet.

"What?" She said through her teeth.

"Well, you're slow today," He remarked. "I said: Do you have a pen I could borrow?"

"No," Why the fuck would she help him? "Do you honestly think that after what you did this morning I will ever let you borrow anything of mine ever again?"

"I spray painted 'Hot Mess' on your car. It was nothing. It'll wash off."

She bristled. Nothing? NOTHING? "It was hot pink with glitter!"

"I thought you liked pink," He responded. "I was trying to make sure it went with your tastes."

Oh God, please give her the patience to handle this fool with grace and poise. She prayed for a moment, closing her eyes and muttering a few Hail Mary's in French before opening her eyes and seeing his smug face, mockingly staring back at her. Fuck poise and grace.

"Listen here, you son of a cunt-loving whore-"

"Miss Forbes!" She stopped when she heard Mr. Tanner's voice boom. She turned around and found him glaring at her. "I hate to interrupt this lovers' spat but we have more important matters to take care of today then your teenage problems."

She blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry, sir,"

Mr. Tanner ignored her and started the class, often times calling on Caroline and trying to embarrass her but she wasn't on the Honor's List for no reason, she was able to answer even when flustered. He never called on Kol since he was the star student when it came to History, he just knew _everything _and he could never be beaten. Caroline knew, she tried every day and always lost. Yet one of the many reasons she hated Kol Mikaelson.

Caroline was on her way to French class when Kol started walking with her and slung his arm around her shoulders. "So, Forbes, how are you?"

"Fuck off." She spat and loosened his arm on her.

"Now, now, Forbes, that's not very nice."

"And so is this." She turned to him and stepped on his foot, hard. He yelped and staggered away from her, jumping up and down and clutching his foot. "Ow! Forbes!"

"Sorry," She said, not sorry at all and went into the classroom. Bonnie and Elena were taking Spanish and that left Caroline alone to face Kol who entered the classroom a second later, none to happy. He looked like he wanted to kill her. Nothing new there.

The French teacher, Mrs. Mikaelson ( yes, Kol's mom of all people) started her lesson. She was a tall woman with a pretty face and copper hair. Kol had her chin and nose but the rest of him was all his dad. Caroline's mom, Sheriff Forbes, was best friends with her and that's how Caroline met Kol when they were about three years old and he threw his toy car at her face. The rest as they say was history.

In between verbs and vowels, Mrs. Mikaelson made an announcement. "Our sister school in France has agreed on an exchange program. Two students from this class, a boy and a girl will go on a two month stay in Paris." The class started to buzz at the news, students eagerly talking about it as the woman continued. "I've already chosen the participants and they are…"

Caroline looked up hopefully. French wasn't her best subject but her French was great enough that no French native would laugh at her. She was an Honor student and she did well in all her subjects. She was on numerous committees and she was very personable with great leadership skills. She was outstanding and the perfect candidate, they had to pick her!

"Caroline Forbes…" Caroline smiled widely as her classmates congratulated her, disappointed they weren't chosen but happy for her anyway. "….and of course…"

But wait, who was the other student? Matt's French was terrible, Tyler took Spanish and Stefan was okay. But wait, the only other student who was as good as her was-

"Kol Mikaelson,"

"That's not fair, he's your son!" A jock pointed out in outrage. Caroline didn't find it in herself to agree with him. Kol, besides being an extremely lucky bastard, was the brightest student in that class. Despite his mom being biased (and she wasn't) he was brilliant, there really was no one else.

"Nepotism is for the weak," Kol remarked. "That's what my birthday cards said anyway."

"Of course, Mister Summers," Mrs. Mikaelson replied to the jock. "I didn't choose Kol because he's my son. I chose him because of his exceptional qualities."

Like what? Making an ass of himself? Caroline snorted. The only thing Kol was good at was making other people miserable.

"Congratulations, Caroline and Kol," She continued. "I expect that you too will work well together and make sure our school's name is held up well."

_Yeah right_. Her and Kol working well together? This was going to be disastrous. She just knew it.

Class went by in a blur and Caroline stayed behind to talk with Mrs. Mikaelson. She approached the redhead as she erased the blackboard. "Yes, dear?" She asked as Caroline stood in front of her.

"Mrs. Mikaelson-"

"Oh Caroline, please call me Esther, I'm your godmother after all."

"Right. Esther, I don't think this is gonna work out."

The older woman looked confused. "Why not? You'll be perfect for the exchange. Your French is fantastic!"

"No, it's not that," It's just your son is an asshole and I can't take spending two seconds with him, let alone any long period of time. "I don't think Kol and I are the perfect partners for this. We don't get along, we hate each other!"

Esther laughed. "Oh Caroline, you don't hate Kol. There's just tension between you two, I must admit it makes for a very passionate relationship. Oh I remember when you were younger and you two used to fight all the time…"

Tension? Passion? What was her crazy godmother going on about? She was nuts, she had to be.

Caroline frowned as the woman continued to babble about how 'adorable' Caroline and Kol's little feud was. At some point, marriage was talked about and she squirmed at the thought. Marrying Kol? Eww!

"I'm sure you'll be fine in Paris," Esther smiled, patting her on the arm. "You'll have a lovely time, believe me."

_She really doubted that_. "Thank you, Esther." She turned around and walked out the door, the smile dropping from her face as she entered the hallway. _Well that was no help._

Now here was the problem. She was going to spend two months with Kol Mikaelson with only his crazy mother as a chaperone. She had no one to keep her sane and from killing Kol and he was going to make her life miserable while they were in Paris. Somebody kill her now, please?

* * *

**I've been watching and reading way too many romantic comedies. "Nepotism is for the weak" is from Grey's Anatomy.**


	2. don't get attached

_Rule number two just don't get attached_

_ to somebody you could lose _

_so le-let me tell you_

**-Marina and the Diamonds, How to Be A Heartbreaker**

* * *

Caroline awoke bright and early on the day of her flight. Her bags packed, her mother drove her to the airport. She'd said goodbye to her friends days ago and her mother looked almost teary-eyed as they said their goodbyes. "Call me, okay?" Sheriff Forbes cupped her face in an unexpected act of motherly tenderness, tucking a stray blonde curl behind her daughter's ear. "And don't drink the water. Are you sure you packed a jacket? It can get really chilly there-"

"Mom," She interrupted, rolling her eyes. "I'll be fine."

Liz Forbes stifled a sob and enveloped her into a hug. Caroline laughed and patted her mother on the back, accepting the hug. She was going to miss her mom, her friends and Mystic Falls. She was going to miss this small town and she'd never thought she would.

"Liz!" They departed and turned to see Esther and Kol walking towards them, carrying their luggage.

Liz turned to her best friend. "Esther, you'll take care of these two, right? Make sure they don't get into trouble."

"That's a little difficult. You know how these two are." The redhead quipped, laughingly.

The two mothers started conversing and Caroline looked past them to stare at Kol who was staring at her. She rolled her eyes when he smirked at her. He approached her. "Ready for Europe, Forbes? You'll find it's quite different from what you're used to."

She scowled at him. Arrogant bastard. Kol, unlike her, had spent every summer since he was born travelling all over the world with his father and siblings. His dad, Mikael was a diplomat and got sent to different countries all the time. Kol had vacationed in Paris many times. It was just so like him to rub him class and experience in Caroline's face.

"I think I'll manage." She said bitingly.

And when their mothers weren't looking she gave him the finger.

The two women stopped conversing and Liz took her leave. Esther escorted the two teenagers to board the plane. Caroline had never been on one and she was somewhat nervous. Her mind came up with scenarios on what could happen. What if they crashed? What if her life became like Final Destination? What if?

Kol was cool as ice, chewing gum as they took their seats. Caroline was in the middle, Esther at her left, taking the window seat and Kol at her right. Pretty soon they were in the air and Caroline felt the vertigo overcome her, her ears popping. Kol didn't seem to mind and was loudly chewing his gum. Esther was falling asleep already.

Caroline rubbed her forehead as she swallowed continuously to make the ear popping lessen.

"Dizzy?" Kol asked laughingly. She glared at him and he offered her gum which she refused then he rolled his eyes at her distrust. "It'll help, trust me."

She trusted him as much as could throw him which wasn't very far despite her cheerleading muscles. She wasn't out of shape but Kol was bigger than her and stronger. Not that she'd been checking him out or anything. It was just a fact she knew ever since they were fourteen and he'd grown inches over her.

She turned away from him and took out a book from her purse. It was going to be a long flight and she needed the distraction. She turned a page when she felt a weight on her shoulder. She found Kol's head on her shoulder and she stiffened, not knowing what to do. They merely stared at each other for a moment, not saying anything until she closed her book and smacked him in the face. "Ow! Forbes!" He yelped in outrage.

She smirked to herself and continued reading her book. She fell asleep some time later, her head resting on something soft and warm. She cuddled closer to it to enjoy. The intercom woke her up as the pilot announced their landing. She drowsily opened her eyes and found Kol's eyes staring into hers. That's when she realized her head was on his shoulder and he had been watching her sleep this entire time.

She squeaked and jumped away from him. "Kol" She yelled at him like it was his fault. He raised both hands in surrender. "Hey, you're the one who fell asleep on me. Don't be so prissy about this-"

Prissy? She was just about to smack him again but Esther finally woke up and stopped their fight, instructing them to get their bags and file out of the plane. They got their luggage and found a taxi, Esther giving the driver the school's address. It was noon and the sun was up in the sky, Caroline looked out the window of the taxi and enjoyed the view.

The taxi went inside the school grounds, stepping outside a large mansion-like building. It looked old with grey staccato that used to be white and floor length windows. She'd read that the school used to be hotel before it was converted into school. She felt excited about the place, wanting to go and explore but was still far too tired to be of much use.

She got her luggage, following Esther into the building. Even Kol looked less than indifferent and seemed curious. A tall man about in his forties was at the lobby. He had a funny mustache and was dressed in a dark charcoal suit. "Esther!" He said, capturing Esther's hands in his and kissing both her cheeks. "We've been waiting all day for you and your students." His accent was thick, garbling the words.

He seemed far too familiar with Kol's mom, like they knew each other for a long time. Her suspicions were confirmed when Esther explained that she and 'Christophe' were classmates in college when Esther studied here in Paris.

"You must be Kol!" He said, moving towards him. "Last time I saw you, you were about this high." He raised his hand to about four feet. "My, how you've grown,"

Kol didn't say anything and just shrugged, making Caroline stare at him oddly. No snarky remark for the nice man? Esther introduced Caroline. "Chris, this is my student, Caroline Forbes."

Christophe shook her hand and commented. "You're very lovely, my dear."

Caroline blushed. "Thank you."

"Come, come," He said. "I shall show you to your rooms."

He led them up the stairs. The teachers' rooms were on the second floor and after Esther dropped off her bags, they went up to the third floor where the students' dorms were. They stopped at a door, knocking on it. A pretty girl with sandy blonde hair and grey eyes opened the door, She had tight, bird-like features. She wasn't that pretty if Caroline looked closer but she seemed graceful, like a ballerina.

"Mademoiselle Garnier," Christophe said to the girl. "This is the exchange student I talked to you about – Mademoiselle Forbes. She will be rooming with you."

The girl smiled at her_. "Bonjour,"_

"_Bonjour,"_ Caroline responded, smiling at her.

"I trust you'll make her feel at home," Christophe nodded before he started dragging Kol and Esther away. "The boys' rooms are further down the hall…"

Kol followed but not without turning to look at Caroline at the last minute, as if he was worried about her. Caroline scoffed at the thought. Her roommate let her into the room and Caroline stared at the white walls. One side of the room had posters of French musicians on the wall, the bed had a pink bedspread with flowers and there was a worn white teddy bear. The other half was immaculate, untouched, that had to be her bed. She put down her bags on it.

The rest of the room was quite decently sized with a blue rug carpet and an ensuite bathroom, The bathroom smelled like ocean which must be her roommate's doing.

"My name's Poesy by the way," Her roommate said with a thick accent. "Sorry for my English. I've never been to America before. I'm quite… _quel est le mot__?__ (_what's the word?) Excited! Yes, excited to learn from you. Is this your first time in Paris?"

Caroline nodded. "Call me Caroline. And yes."

They chit-chatted as Caroline unpacked her bags and put them in the spare wardrobe. Poesy kept asking her questions about America, music, movies, and mostly boys. Caroline in return asked about French culture. Time flew by and dinner came. Poesy led her to the dining hall. Poesy introduced Caroline to all the students that came to say hello to her, very pretty French girls and some French boys who stared at her in interest.

Kol was seated at a table across from where Caroline was seated, looking bored as he nibbled on his dinner. The boys around him were talking non-stop, trying to include him into conversation but he ignored them, choosing to eye Caroline like a hawk. Caroline smiled spitefully at him and he looked away.

"Caroline," A girl named Jessica with bright red hair and Mother of pearl skin called her attention. She was very chirpy and kept asking questions. " _Le garçon__est venu avec__vous_.. _quel est son nom__?_ (The boy you came with…what's his name?)"

"Kol," She answered uninterestedly. "Kol Mikaelson,"

The girls around her twittered among themselves, stealing looks at the brooding male across them.

Louisa, a freshman, remarked. "_Il est__, euh, très en forme, __il__n'est pas ?_ (He is, uh, very fit, isn't he?)"

Caroline resisted gagging. Sure, she wasn't blind. Kol was physically attractive. He had dark hair and eyes, handsome face. His body was lean and built. He looked almost angelic if it wasn't for his devilish personality. The wolf in sheep's clothing basically. Only fools fell for that and Caroline Forbes was no fool.

"_Il est__horrible_ (He's horrid)" Caroline said. "_Un cochon__totale_ (A total pig)»

«Why is that ?» Poesy asked.

«Just trust me, he's a jerk. »

The girls whispered among themselves.

«_Est-il__votre ami_ (Is he your boyfriend?)» Louisa asked who obviously had no matter between her mouth and brain.

Caroline choked on her drink of water, she almost spat it right out and Poesy patted her on the back as she tried to regain her composure. « _Qu'est-ce__qui vous fait__demander__ ?_ (What makes you ask that?) »

«_La façon dont il__vous regarde_ (The way he looks at you)» She replied. «_Comme__il est amoureux_ (Like he's in love)»

Kol ? In love ? With her ? She wanted to laugh and so she did. The girls and even some of the boys looked at her curiously, wondering why she was laughing so hard. It was just so funny ! The idea of Kol being in love with her.

«_Nous__ne sommes même pas__amis!_ (We're not even friends!)» She explained. «_Nous haïssons __les uns les autres__. __Il me déteste__et je le déteste__. __Il__a été ainsi__depuis que nous__étions trois._ (We hate each other. He hates me and I hate him. It's been that way since we were three.)»

That seemed to satisfy the people around her and they went back to talking. Caroline was just happy the attention was off her. Having to defend her mutual emnity with Kol Mikaelson could be tiring. Come on, there was nothing between them but hate. Always have and always will be.

* * *

**Any mistakes with the French can be blamed on Google translator. Cause I don't speak a word of French, haha. This chapter's a bit boring but it had to be done.**


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